based on: #oh look #now it’s cas’ family that’s burning on the ceiling
1x01 » 8x23
Just thought I’d contribute with more depressing fanart of that life ruining scene in Sacrifice.
I can’t draw
in generalbackgrounds, I apologise. One day I’ll learn.
I think Dean would sacrifice himself before Sam or Cas at this point, but forced into the decision, would pick Sam for the reasons you stated. And it would likely spiral him into depression the likes of which S7 can not fathom.
Agreed! On all counts.
And I’ll add - I think Cas and Sam might try and sacrifice THEMSELVES to prevent Dean having to make the choice :p
Which is why I’d love a plot that puts them in the situation! Dean would be ‘no, you can’t make me choose, I’ll die first!’ While Cas would be saying ‘pick Sam, pick Sam!’ and Sam would be saying ‘pick Cas, pick Cas!’
Oh the angst! ;p
I want him to know, what I have done
I want him to know, It’s bad. [x]
I learned my lesson while I was away, Dean. I serve Heaven, I don’t serve Man. And I certainly don’t serve you.
shipping someone who’s immortal with someone who’s mortal is the worst fucking thing ever
I think you spelt ‘best’ wrong…
he said to me,
child, I’m afraid for your soul
these things that you’re after, they can’t be controlled (x)
”It’ll be okay,” Cas said quietly as the drove towards the location they needed to be at to slam the gates of Hell shut once and for all. Dean looked across at him, jaw tight and fingers clenching the steering wheel like he was trying to choke it.
OMGOMG it’s my angsty speculation in fic form! XD I love it I love it!
Maybe Sam DOES die (or some variation thereof). And Cas has to give Sam all of his grace in order for Sam to be ‘reborn.’ Or Sam requires Cas’ grace for the trials and when he takes on Cas’ grace it kills him (or seems to) briefly, then resurrects him as a purified version of himself.
So Sam is reborn by the power of Cas’ grace, and Cas is ‘reborn’ in the sense that he loses his grace and becomes as a human (kind of like Anna did, but without the literal rebirth as a baby).
(so it’s basically the tragic/angsty thing I suggest here :p)
#this part kills me #it will always kill me #because at this point Cas is holding back the Leviathans #he knows that he won’t be okay #and what does he do? #makes a promise to Dean #but it isn’t even that #it’s his FACE #he’s looking at Dean - for what he knows is possibly the last time - and you can just see him memorizing every little feature #the freckles - his nose - the way his hand is so soft on his arm #and Cas is just #in this moment #wants Dean Winchester to be the last thing he sees before he dies #AND I CAN’T
I’ve heard so many people interpret it this way.
And it surprises me every time I do, because I’ve never seen it like that, the idea never even crossed my mind for the longest time.
The way I understand it Cas has no idea about the leviathan at this point. He thinks he’s free. He thinks it’s over. He thinks that, impossibly, he has a second chance at life and freedom, and the first thing he cares about, the one thing he needs to put on the top of his list of making things right is fixing things between him and Dean.
Presumably trying to fix some of the terrible damage he’d inflicted on Heaven was to be next on his agenda, was in his thoughts even as he promised to make it up to Dean. But then he felt the leviathan surface inside him and it was too late.
And, for me, it’s much much worse (and much better drama :p) to think he had that moment of hope. He had that brief time when despite the tragedy of his time as Godstiel, despite the awful, perhaps unforgivable, crimes he’d committed in Heaven, he was himself again and in a fairly good position to make amends, to work towards his redemption. A position particularly hopeful because when he reaches out to Dean, Dean stops for him and accepts his touch, and when he promises Dean he’s going to make things right Dean holds his gaze and says ‘okay.’
There is this moment, for Cas and Dean alike, of so much promise. It’s going to be a long, hard road - with serious consequences Cas has to confront and lots of bitter feelings Dean has to work through - but here in this moment they are willing to walk it. Here in this moment it looks like, given time, they might both be okay.
And then all at once it’s ripped from them both.
And that’s what punches ME in the gut about this scene. Oh god.
The desire for that was what inspired the whole speculation in fact! :) It would be beautiful, wouldn’t it, to have that moment again with Cas believing in himself. And not only believing in himself, but being willing to ask for and accept another’s (Dean’s) help - not because he is weak, but because even the strongest of us need help sometimes and leaning on your friends/family/lovers sometimes takes as much, if not more, strength and courage and self-awareness/independence as it does to push them away.
Another version I have kicking around in my brain is that Dean and Cas are grabbing each other for some reason and instead of Dean telling Cas to ‘let go’ (like I suggest in the Indiana plot), Cas, having gained confidence that Dean truly cares for him and he IS worthwhile, implores of Dean ‘don’t let go!’ And Dean kind of smiles and grips tighter, maybe mutters something like ‘I won’t if you won’t’ :) So Cas would have come full circle with his relationship with Dean this season, only this time it’s HIM telling Dean to hold on (instead of how Dean was telling Cas ‘I got you, hold on!’ in Purgatory, you know?), and this time Cas realises that letting go of Dean or pushing Dean away does not make him stronger (like he said he was for ‘letting go’ back in A Little Slice of Kevin) but that reaching out to Dean does. Or something of the like!
(OR… well… I’m a sucker for tragedy and, uh, I do have an angsty version where…
…so, for some reason or another Cas has to give up his grace, so he’s kneeling down ready for someone else to cut it out. Maybe it’s Metatron standing behind him holding a special blade, or even SAM if it’s part of the trials.
Dean, who’s not to happy with this plan at all, kneels down in front of Cas, grabbing him by the shoulders and insisting ‘you don’t have to do this!’ But Cas just nods and mutters ‘I know, but I will, it’s my choice, Dean.’
Then he looks up, eyes teary, and whispers ‘but… will you do something for me?’ Dean swallows, nods, ‘anything man, name it.’
So Cas grabs both of Dean’s arms, curling his fingers just below Dean’s elbows and gripping tight, and says ‘don’t let go.’
Then there’d be this pregnant pause to give everyone time to link the words back to Cas letting go in Purgatory, and Dean would set his jaw, grip Cas’ arms tight in return and answer back, slightly strained, ‘I won’t. I got you.’
…then Sam, or Metatron, would bring down the blade (which I imagine cutting off wings, though that doesn’t fit with what Anna said about ripping out her grace so maybe not) and there would be screaming and crying and Cas would be gripping Dean tight enough to bruise, maybe he’d start screaming in his angel voice so Dean’s ears start bleeding, it would be horrible and tragic, and yet through it all Dean wouldn’t let go… not until it’s over and Cas falls, limp, into his arms, breathing ragged against Dean’s shoulder, and even then Dean would only let go in order to wrap his arms around Cas’ shivering body and hold him close and… yeah, now I remember why I never wrote this down because I’m all emotional ooops!
I was thinking about writing it as a fic, but I’m never going to get the time so, there, have a glimpse into my painful thoughts in note form instead.)
In any case - I really really REALLY badly want Dean and Cas to return to this idea of ‘letting go’ and ‘holding on’ someone, it would be really… powerful, both narratively and emotionally, I think!
“It is the only way, Dean. For the good of the world, I need you to do this for me. Here - I’ll - I’ll help. And Dean? Thank you. For everything.”
See, this is just the perfect ending to Adam’s story to me. Not because it’s happy, it’s fucking miserable. But because there is nothing Dean or Sam can do for him, and the one time Dean had the chance, the ONLY time it was possible to get to Adam in the Cage, Dean chose Sam over Adam, because of course he did.
Like… tbh, if it ended up in a similar situation where Dean had to choose between Sam and Cas (god FORBID!)… I think he would and should choose Sam (though I like to think not as immediately as here), because of course he would.
It’s painful and horrible and Dean will hate himself forever for it.
And that’s what a tragedy is all about.