Something that is really intriguing me right now is the major contrast between the beginning of season 8, the beginning of season 10. How Sam looking for Dean is being called an “answer” to him not looking for Dean in season 8, according for Carver, but…I don’t think it’s that simple, nor do I think that’s the true intent of this arc.
What we’re dealing with here are extremes, either you disappeared and I didn’t look for you at all, or you disappeared and I turned into a monster to find you. According to Jensen, Dean isn’t going to be happy with what Sam ends up doing in order to find him. He’s going to ask him why he didn’t just let him go. I think that in Sam’s mind this WILL be his attempt to make up for not looking for Dean when he was in Purgatory, when in reality he is simply feeding into the toxic cycle they are both still trapped in. I wouldn’t expect for him to not search for Dean this time, but it looks like the way he’s going to go about it will be anything but healthy or positive in nature.
For Sam it’s all or nothing though…he either drops out of the life all together, or throws himself headlong into the abyss. He’s either in or he’s out and there’s no middle ground. Between season 7 and season 8 it’s pretty clear Sam was in a very bad place, when he hit the dog that night it’s been theorized by many that he was borderline suicidal and completely lost because Dean was gone. To me it was never about him not caring enough to look, but it was about finally putting an end to that Winchester merry-go-round we are all too familiar with. He wanted to move on and finally be done with it all…so he accepted that Dean was gone…and then he met Amelia.
I do think this is something that caused him immense guilt down the line, but it also served as a glimpse at what Sam truly wants for himself. He wants a life that’s not all killing monsters and the fate of the world resting his shoulders, and for that year that meant cutting himself off from the life completely, leaving Kevin to fend for himself and accepting that his brother was dead. It was one extreme, and now in season 10 we will be seeing another it would seem.
The PR that’s surrounding the show right now is amusing me to be honest, particularly what Jared has been saying, because it’s sort of missing the mark in more ways than one. He’s really emphasizing that “NOW Sam loves Dean and is willing to do anything for him” but…this has never been about love, or a lack thereof. There has never been a lack of love between Sam and Dean, but what there has been is an incredibly unhealthy dynamic for pretty much their entire lives, but that’s another topic for another day.
It’s not about love, the love is already there, it’s about finding some middle ground. Now granted the situation in season 8 was entirely different than this one, but the purpose of this major contrast is still the same in my eyes. We will have seen Sam going to both extremes, and likely realizing neither one of those extremes was the solution to his problems.
Finding balance is clearly something that every character on spn needs to do, and I hope we see this theme playing out as season 10 progresses. Balance between the dark and the light, balance between dropping out all together and sacrificing yourself, and balance between holding on too tight and letting go completely.